


Respawn, Rinse, Repeat

by heisttheblackflag (EuterpesChild)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - GTA V, Alternate Universe - Immortality, Character Study, Dark, Dark Respawn, Gen, Immortal Fake AH Crew, Mavin if you squint, Respawn, Second Person, Suicidal Ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-10 22:18:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11700987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EuterpesChild/pseuds/heisttheblackflag
Summary: Your name is Michael Jones, and you never asked to stay alive.





	Respawn, Rinse, Repeat

**Author's Note:**

> This is brief but intense, so please be careful. Michael does not handle immortality well.

Your name is Michael Jones. You’ve woken up standing on the side of the road, your shirt covered in blood you assume is your own, but without any noticeable wounds. A man in a white suit claps you on the shoulder and yells in your ear.

“Ah, Mikey boy!” the English voice says. “Sorry about killing you, mate; got a little trigger-happy on my bike.”

Killing you? Ah, right: citizens of Los Santos can’t die. Not properly, anyway. You suppose you’ll make the best of it, and you’re not given time to ponder much past that as a car careens onto the curb in front of you and the passenger door swings open for you.

 

Your name is Michael Jones, and you’ve really got to stop dying in stupid ways. This time you’d driven headfirst into a bridge and gone up in a fireball before you had time to blink. You rematerialize just behind it, the remains of your souped-up SUV still smoldering in front of you. Whoops, laughter, and shouts of “get a fucking driver’s license Michael” come through your comm system, and you shake them off as you step onto the road to hijack another car.

 

Your name is Michael Jones, and the man in front of you looks slightly too startled for comfort. His gun is pointed about seven feet to your left, and faint grey smoke in the air indicates that that is where you had been standing before, presumably, this very irate man shot you. You sigh in exasperation and take him out before his gun swings to the new you. You hope when he comes back that he appears somewhere very far away.

 

Your name is Michael Jones, and for once you’re not even mad that you were temporarily deceased. Gavin and Ryan are bent double laughing, and there’s a grin creasing the corners of your eyes because “honestly Gavin you can’t even be trusted with a fucking kitchen knife before you go off murdering someone; I thought this was supposed to be our day off!” You put him in a playful headlock and wrest the knife away from him, and he freaking licks your neck as you release. “Gross,” you mutter, and punch him in the side of the head. Maybe you should make him respawn and see how he likes it.

 

Your name is Michael Jones, and you’re on a boat and there are explosions and you were just shot by fucking Ray of all people and everything’s gone to hell and the sky is fire and you’re completely unarmed and everyone else is dead and there’s nothing you can do except leap on Ray, but that seems to be enough because then Gavin is back and the two of you are taking him down together (always together) and maybe next time you won’t turn your back on the fucking demo man.

 

Your name is Michael Jones and god you just want to be done already. Enough with neverending lives and the godlike reincarnation powers. You’ve had enough, and so you take a knife- you take a gun- you leap off a bridge- you set off a fucking grenade in your own house-

 

Your name is Michael Jones.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't normally have anything to do with RPF so I write these as if the personas we see on AH let's plays are fictionalised versions of themselves. Also this is not at all how I perceive Michael as either a person or a player or his character in GTA V; it was just an interesting idea I had and wanted to play with.


End file.
